The "C" Word

Hi friends! You might have noticed that over the last few months you’ve heard from me a bit less than normal. I apologize, and want to catch you on what has been happening. Hopefully, this update will both be an encouragement and challenge, and also help you know how to pray with Josh and I as we trust God in some uncertain waters.

So here is a quick run through the details of the past two months.

The second week of January, shortly after getting home from Canada, I found out that I had a spot of melanoma skin cancer on my cheek. The doctors were concerned about it possibly having spread to my lymph nodes, so they wanted to act quickly. On January 30^th, I had surgery to remove about a 2 inch circle on my cheek and neck, and to remove three sections of lymph nodes that needed to be biopsied to see if the melanoma had spread. While having face/neck surgery and ending up with a 6-7 inch scar was definitely not my idea of something to do two months before my wedding, that is what needed to happen. I can trust that God had a purpose for what seemed in my eyes to be less than ideal timing (although let’s be honest, there is no ideal timing for cancer surgery.)

Halfway through February, we found out that the melanoma had not spread to the lymph nodes and we are so thankful for that blessing! The doctors told us however, that they were concerned about something else they saw in the tests so they decided to test for a perineural extension…basically, the cancer could end up in the nerves/nerve coatings in the face and then travel internally. This type of extension for melanoma is quite rare, but difficult to treat.

Our latest update came on February 26, when we found out that the test results for the perineural extension were inconclusive. Basically, the doctor thinks here is a 50/50 chance of whether or not the cancer has spread into the nerves/nerve coatings, but we won’t be able to know for sure unless/until we see certain symptoms… Obviously, we hope we never see those symptoms!

So for now, we wait. (And isn’t that just everyone favorite thing to do! 😊) My Doctor is aware of our plans to serve long term overseas as missionaries, and he has encouraged us to try to give ourselves two years to be here in the States and have regular testing. If at that point, I’m still symptom free, we can fairly confident that I don’t have a perineural extension and we’d be able to coordinate and keep up with further tests on an annual basis overseas.

So those are the basic, upfront facts. But then there is all of the messy, everyday life and emotions that go with all of those facts. They are a little bit harder to share with you all, but honestly, probably more important. So, as I learn to be transparent about something that feels very personal, I’m going to share with you a few of the things that Josh and I have been reminded of as we’ve processed and prayed together.

1.    Living life in light of eternity is something we take far too lightly. We usually live our lives and make decisions based on the assumption that we are going have many years. The reality is that a cancer diagnosis doesn’t change the fact that we are never supposed to be too comfortable or too attached to this world. The purpose of our lives is for the glory of God! Period!

2.    Surrendering ourselves and those we love most to God must be a continual decision we make. Honestly, while having someone to walk through this trial with is a huge blessing, it also increases the weight of the pain, because he shares mine, and I share his, and then the fact that my pain increases his pain only increases mine…you get the pictures. The most important truth that I need to keep coming back to though is that we are both God’s.  

3.    We serve an incredible, powerful, sovereign God, and if what he wants for our lives looks different than we would have wished, then we can trust His wisdom and purpose in the middle of uncertainty and thank Him for what He is doing, even if we don’t understand it all yet. That confidence comes because of how deeply and intimately we KNOW our God! As Josh likes to say “We have history with Him!” 😊

4.    We are all dying. It can seem trite to say that, or perhaps morbid to dwell on the fact that all of us are dying, but that is reality. It isn't changed or effected by any diagnosis or risk percentage we receive. I've realized that for me, the only difference was that before this diagnosis, I was used to living as though I was certain I had many years ahead. While I still hope I do, this reminder also makes my heart break even more for the lost who have no hope in this life and no hope in death!  And that points me back to living my life in light of eternity (Point #1).

5.    There is nothing we would rather do than spend our lives serving God together! We still believe that He is leading us overseas to reach an unreached people group, and our plan is to follow Him! Even if His plan involves something different though, there are certain things we know without a shadow of a doubt are His will for us: reaching the lost, discipling believers, growing in our relationship with Him, spending time in His Word, becoming more like Christ, and bringing others along with us! In Ohio, Canada, Papua New Guinea, or anywhere else He leads us, those things will not change.  

Thank you for your prayers for us to be faithful and bring God glory through our lives; and thank you for partnering with us to reach the unreached with the gospel!

P.S. On a positive note, Josh and I are getting married in 22 days! That is something to be praising God for and praying with us about! 😊  


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